Leonard: Still can’t believe she’s going out with me.
Raj: Nobody can.
Raj: Hey, how come I wasn’t part of this deal?
Sheldon: You had left the refreshment stand in order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.
Raj: Oh, so that’s how it works? I have a teeny bladder and now I don’t get a hot girlfriend?
Howard: Yeah, Raj, that’s how it works.
Raj: Damn.
Leonard: What am I supposed to say? Penny, do you have any friends you’d like to never hear from again?
Howard: Come on, I’m smart, I have good job and I have only three percent body fat.
Raj: It’s true. I’ve seen him at the beach, he’s like a human chicken wing.
Penny: The heart wants what the heart wants, Leonard.
Stuart: Hey, Sheldon, the new Green Lantern figurine’s coming in tomorrow. Want me to set one aside for you?
Sheldon: Thank you. You just robbed me of the opportunity to stumble upon the figurine and make the oh-so-satisfying journey from discovery to desire to possession.
Sheldon: Wil Wheaton currently ranks sixth on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle.
Raj: Sign here.
Sheldon: From hell’s heart, I stab at thee.
Stuart: All right, Raj, looks like you’re teamed up with die, Wil Wheaton, die.
Howard: So, tell me more about the future mother of my children.
Howard: So what did you tell her about me? Did you mention the body fat?
Penny: No, I thought that would be a nice surprise for her.
Howard: Good, good.
Penny: I just told her you’re an aerospace engineer, you speak five languages…
Howard: Six if you count Klingon.
Leonard: Girls don’t count Klingon, Howard. Right?
Penny: Right. Oh, and I told her you have an unhealthy attachment to your mother.
Howard: What?
Penny: I’m kidding.
Leonard: Another delightful surprise for her.
Leonard: Gonna be a long night.
Penny: Yeah, well, it’s your fault.
Leonard: I had to ask. You didn’t have to say yes.
Wil Wheaton: What is wrong with him?
Stuart: Everyone has a different theory.
Howard: Puppies? Where do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face.
Howard: Of course it did.
Bernadette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you’re nine years old?
Howard: You live with your mother?
Bernadette: No. That’s the sad part.
Howard: My mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn’t pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernadette: That’s nothing. I couldn’t ride a bicycle ’cause my mother was afraid I’d hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Penny: Am I a matchmaker or what?
Raj: No! Not enchanted bunny!
Raj: Nobody can.
Raj: Hey, how come I wasn’t part of this deal?
Sheldon: You had left the refreshment stand in order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.
Raj: Oh, so that’s how it works? I have a teeny bladder and now I don’t get a hot girlfriend?
Howard: Yeah, Raj, that’s how it works.
Raj: Damn.
Leonard: What am I supposed to say? Penny, do you have any friends you’d like to never hear from again?
Howard: Come on, I’m smart, I have good job and I have only three percent body fat.
Raj: It’s true. I’ve seen him at the beach, he’s like a human chicken wing.
Penny: The heart wants what the heart wants, Leonard.
Stuart: Hey, Sheldon, the new Green Lantern figurine’s coming in tomorrow. Want me to set one aside for you?
Sheldon: Thank you. You just robbed me of the opportunity to stumble upon the figurine and make the oh-so-satisfying journey from discovery to desire to possession.
Sheldon: Wil Wheaton currently ranks sixth on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle.
Raj: Sign here.
Sheldon: From hell’s heart, I stab at thee.
Stuart: All right, Raj, looks like you’re teamed up with die, Wil Wheaton, die.
Howard: So, tell me more about the future mother of my children.
Howard: So what did you tell her about me? Did you mention the body fat?
Penny: No, I thought that would be a nice surprise for her.
Howard: Good, good.
Penny: I just told her you’re an aerospace engineer, you speak five languages…
Howard: Six if you count Klingon.
Leonard: Girls don’t count Klingon, Howard. Right?
Penny: Right. Oh, and I told her you have an unhealthy attachment to your mother.
Howard: What?
Penny: I’m kidding.
Leonard: Another delightful surprise for her.
Leonard: Gonna be a long night.
Penny: Yeah, well, it’s your fault.
Leonard: I had to ask. You didn’t have to say yes.
Wil Wheaton: What is wrong with him?
Stuart: Everyone has a different theory.
Howard: Puppies? Where do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face.
Howard: Of course it did.
Bernadette: Okay, well, does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you’re nine years old?
Howard: You live with your mother?
Bernadette: No. That’s the sad part.
Howard: My mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn’t pick up a disease from the other children.
Bernadette: That’s nothing. I couldn’t ride a bicycle ’cause my mother was afraid I’d hit a bump and lose my virginity.
Penny: Am I a matchmaker or what?
Raj: No! Not enchanted bunny!
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