AFK - away from keyboard

Penny: I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven’t got a single acting job, I have accomplished nothing, haven’t gotten a raise at work, haven’t even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.
Sheldon: Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they’re almost pure protein.

Sheldon: Just when I think I’ve gotten the hang of sarcasm.

Leonard: Your ice-cream is melting and it’s starting to attract wildlife.

Leonard: Want to catch me up?
Sheldon: Well let’s see, uh, she attempted to open her apartment with her car key, because her face is overly Midwestern, um, she hasn’t had sex in six months, and she ate a fly.

Penny: Oh my God, a treasure chest, I’m rich!
Sheldon: Level three and she thinks she’s rich! What a noob.

Sheldon: You can’t slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger, my Lord it’s like the car key in your apartment door all over again.

Raj: It’s like some kind of weird comic book crossover.
Howard: Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty.

Sheldon: That girl needs to get a life.

Penny: Oh, hey Leonard, listen, don’t got in Sheldon’s room, he’s not wearing bottoms.

Leonard: You’re the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but you’re the one who said hello to her when she moved in.

Leonard: Sheldon, wake up.
Sheldon: Danger, danger.

Sheldon: Good to know. Big old five.