systerdotter

Kallar katten (Batman) paj aka klapp.
Efter att tittat på bolibompa fem gånger, kan hon nu inte sluta sjunga med.

Olika värden

Filosofen Erik Ahlman

Hedonistiska värden - lycka, välbehag, glädje, njutning, sinnlighet
Vitala värden - liv, hälsa, vilja, kondition
Estetiska värden - skönhet, ädelmod, älskvärdhet, konst
Kunskapsmässiga värden - sanning, kunskap, utbildning, visdom, vetenskap
Religiösa värden - tro, hopp, helighet
Sociala värden - altruism, vänskap, kärlek, trohet, frihet, patriotism, trygghet
Maktrelaterade värden - styrka, makt, krig, rikedom, pengar, seger
Rättsliga värden - rättvisa, mänskliga rättigheter, jämlikhet, legalitet
Etiska värden - godhet, det moraliska rätta
Ekologiska värden - naturens skönhet, djurens rättigheter
Egologiska värden - självaktning, själviskhet, egen fördel

platonsk kärlek

(den själsliga kärleken)
enligt den antike filosofen Platon den högsta formen av kärlek.
omfattar en kärlek utan sexuella inslag och kan liknas vid en mycket djup vänskap.

sommarlöfte #1

När sommaren e slut ska jag komma in i mina skinny jeans.

love is in the air

mera kärlekspoesi åt folket!

tyttö on tullut kotiin

Hem hemma igen. skönt. eller bara deprimerande?

du höll mig vaken hela förra natten. snälla låt mig få sova ikväll.

glee in my heart

Being in New York is like falling in love over and over again every minute.

Gives you hell

When you see my face
hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.

Anteckna: Melancholia.

verkar just lagom underbart konstig.

I call him lollipop

Call my baby lollipop
Tell you why
His kiss is sweeter than an apple pie
And when he does his shaky rockin' dance
Man, I haven't got a chance

I call him
Lollipop lollipop
Oh lolli lolli lolli
Lollipop lollipop.....

Sweeter than candy on a stick
Huckleberry, chimry or lime
If you had a choice
He'd be your pick
But lollipop is mine

Crazy way he thrills me
Tell you why
Just like a lightning from the sky
He loves to kiss me till I can't see straight
GEE, MY LOLLIPOP IS GREAT

- Chordettes

voi video

I had a thought.

om du av någon anledning stått och väntat på mig på andra sidan bron igår, så skulle jag sagt att jag tror att jag har fallit för dig.

...
jag har fallit för dig.

men istället satt jag mig ner på en bänk vid ån och bytte mina skor och skickade sms med finaste vännen. berättade inte om vad som just då snurrade runt i mitt huvud, men om hon skulle ha ring upp så kanske jag inte skulle kunnat låta bli.


this is just depressing.

före jag packar allt mitt stuff och flyttar hem till föräldrarna:

programmeringsuppgifter: 1
räkneövningar: 1
tenter: 1 (+2)

You smell like baby powder.

Sheldon: Mathematical. 32-ounce banana smoothie, 16-ounce bladder.

Priya: Oh, Leonard, let the man pee.

Leonard: Oh. Cool. I’ve got a lawyer. And I’ve seen her naked.

Leonard: Top of her class, Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries. And your face.

Leonard: No offence, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that’s happened today.

Raj: Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we’ve done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.

Sheldon: This is Greek food? Leonard, you hate Greek food.
Leonard: Not as much as you.

Sheldon: And what a civilisation is the Greeks. They gave us science, democracy and little cubes of charred meat that taste like sweat.

Sheldon: The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb.

Sheldon: Oh, I don’t know if I’m up for an evening talking about rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.
Penny: Okay, suit yourself. We’ll probably be trashing Priya a little.
Sheldon: Shotgun.

Amy: Fair warning, we can get ker-razy.

Bernadette: Last week we smoked cigars and pretended to be dragons.

Bernadette: Amy and Sheldon sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-S-S-I-N-G.
Penny: That’s too many S’s for kissing.
Bernadette: Not if they’re doing it for a long time.

Amy: Oh, blah, blah, blah. Give me some sugar, bestie.

Bernadette: I totally want to see Sheldon dance. I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Amy: I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.
Sheldon: What happened to you?

Amy: What’s rattling around that big bulbous brain of yours?

Sheldon: I understand the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is that makes girls go wild.

Leonard: What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?
Sheldon: That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.

Sheldon: This computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you’re in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-marshmallow-fluff Leonard Hofstadter.

Sheldon: Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!

Sheldon: You’re preaching to the choir, sister.

Shut your ass!

Sheldon: Forgive my language, but poppycock.

Sheldon: I believe our nation’s tuna cans are safe.

Sheldon: What an elf I would've made.

Sheldon: I had an unusual experience with Amy last night.
Leonard: Really? How could you tell?

Sheldon: I think prolonged exposure to Penny has turned her into a bit of a Gabby Gertie.

Leonard: Boy, you sure get your money’s worth out of these games.

Leonard: There’s a big inspection coming up, and I don’t want to lose my TV privileges.

Leonard: I get a lawyer, he gets a lawyer, it’s just easier to stand behind the tape.

Leonard: It’s complicated, but as I remember it, the essentials are, get chosen last, get hit by the ball, cry, go home.

Priya: I was thinking we can bring Bernadette and Howard. She’s really interesting, and I bet I can get used to him.

Priya: Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Penny: Unlike Amy and Priya, I know how to keep a secret.
Leonard: You're the one who told Amy in the first place.
Penny: In confidence!

Raj: Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy. How are you?
Mrs Koothrappali: We’re very rich in a very poor country. So, all in all, can’t complain.

Raj: Are you listening to this guy?
Howard: Hmm? Oh, I’m sorry. I was somewhere else.
Leonard: Lucky bastard.

Raj: A smile means something different in my country. You know, tears of joy, smile of sadness. India’s a goofy place.

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.

Raj: I just felt like drinking alone, because I’m deep and dark.

Penny: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Raj: I was when I came in, but it’s amazing what liquor does to guilt.

Penny: Oh, that gossipy bitch! No offense.
Raj: None taken. You should hear how she talks about you.

Raj: Wow. I can’t believe old Smelly Pooper finally got laid.

Sheldon: I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you is giving me a great deal of satisfaction.
Amy: Slow down, Sheldon. I’m not quite there yet.

Sheldon: That's going to make me a chick magnet and I'm so busy as it is!

Amy: I wonder what changed her mind.
Sheldon: Perhaps your talk of my sexual prowess renewed her faith in love.
Amy: As good as an explanation as any.

We’re kind of bad-asses, aren’t we?

Leonard: Oh, my God, what did they get?
Sheldon: What didn’t they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my vicious gladiator armour, my wand of untainted power, and all my gold.
Leonard: You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?

Policeman: I’m sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn’t have jurisdiction in Pandora.
Sheldon: That’s from Avatar, World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Sheldon: They also took Glen.
Leonard: No, not Glen.
Sheldon: Yes, the only bird that I ever loved.

Sheldon: Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It’s almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Sheldon: There isn’t enough camomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.

Penny: He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that’s useful in a make-believe place.
Priya: I don’t know what that means.
Penny: Yeah, well, sadly, I do.

Penny: Can you believe that?
Bernadette: I feel like I’m supposed to say that bitch, but I don’t have enough information.

Bernadette: I took Howard to the beach once. He almost burst into flames like a vampire.

Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
Amy: Ah, here’s the alcohol and drug peer pressure Mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please.

Penny: You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, oh boy, my breast friends.

Howard: Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up.

Amy: Four women walk down the stairs, how many reach the lobby?

Howard: No one can hide from me, not Waldo, not Carmen San Diego, not even topless Natalie Portman.

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before... my sister.

Raj: Look, if you want your relationship with Leonard to continue, you’re going to have to believe whatever wild-eyed, cockamamie excuse the white devil has the nerve to offer you. Okay?

Howard: Beyonce? Really?
Raj: She’s curvy and she owns it. I like that.

Leonard: Next time we go to kick someone’s ass, we take the train.

Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom!
Raj: Don’t say your doom. Who opens the door for their doom?
Sheldon: Good point. Basket of puppies.

Penny: Amy is right, I do wanna fling my poop at her.

Son of a gun, you’re blowing my mind!

Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Priya: Yeah, just because you’re in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: Hey, if you can find a book called weird sex with white boys, I’d be okay with that.

Howard: Hey, Raj, wanna see a new magic trick I’ve been working on?
Sheldon: Howard, if I may interject here with a piece of friendly advice. Is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time? Granted, you’re just an engineer, but that doesn’t mean you might not someday build a geegaw or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone else’s Nobel prize acceptance speech.
Raj: Is the trick making him disappear? Sure, let’s see it.

Howard: You ever notice when he thinks real hard, it smells like bacon?

Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: Not knowing is part of the fun. Was that the motto of your community college?

Sheldon: So, you're saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle!

Leonard: Hypothetically, if I had access to a lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
Priya: Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.

Leonard: I’m ready! I gave up the gift of sight for you. If that’s not moving on, what is?

Penny: Hey, you. What happened with the contacts?
Leonard: One of them’s upstairs. The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.

Sheldon: This time do it with me, so I can make sure there’s no monkey business.

mission

I sommar ska jag lära mig spela "River flows in you" by Yiruma på piano.

We’re like hippies at a love-in.

Leonard: It’s the same group of people who hang out here, hanging out over there.
Sheldon: I’m sorry, but five people eating and chatting is a party.
Leonard: How come it’s not a party when we do it here?
Sheldon: Because we don’t throw parties.

Sheldon: Indians making Tex-Mex. Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.

Howard: That’s got to be fun for you, huh? Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva out of your sister’s mouth?

Sheldon: Oh, look, it’s Harry Potter and 98% of The Sorcerer’s Stone.

Sheldon: Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am the Dark Knight, roaming these mean streets alone. A windbreaker for my cape, and a stern expression for my cowl.

Sheldon: Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj’s sister, we’re all forced to hang out at his apartment.
Penny: Oh, the horror.
Sheldon: Indeed. Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music, and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula.

Zack: So, long story short, I nailed her.

Penny: Let’s go find me a heinie to bite.

Leonard: Hey, I thought you were with your new buddies.
Sheldon: I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

I forbidded it.

Bernadette: You sound a little like a drunken monkey.

Mrs. Wolowitz: God forbid you get one of them fancy sex diseases.

Sheldon: Did you offer him a hot beverage?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Leonard, social protocol states when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage, such as tea.
Howard: Tea does sound nice.
Sheldon: You heard the man, Leonard

Sheldon: Focus. I’m down in the dumps here.

Raj: Clearly, she was sending you a message to take a hike, Mike.

Sheldon: The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters. If a woman’s father is not around, the duty of controlling her base desires falls to the closest male member of her family, in this case, Raj. The code also states that if she disobeys, she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases. If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble given that the prize is Leonard.
Raj: There it is, Priya. We’re Indian. We believe this stuff.
Priya: I think it also says that if you eat beef, you need to live with cows for three months and drink their urine.
Raj: Some of it makes sense, some of it’s crazy.

Sheldon: If I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".

Amy: I hightailed over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
Penny: Amy, I'm fine.
Amy: You don't have to be strong for me. Now, let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch!

Howard: I choose you.

Raj: Leonard, I swear to God, if your sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.
Leonard: My sister’s 38 and married.
Raj: All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.

Amy: So, how you holding up?
Penny: I’m fine.
Amy: Oh, who are you kidding? She’s breathtaking.

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?
Penny: I didn’t do the audition.
Sheldon: Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky?

Howard: It’s not weird. There’s lots of kids there with their moms.

Penny: Are Leonard and Priya here?
Sheldon: They went to Catalina for the weekend.
Penny: Oh. Where’s Raj?
Sheldon: At home, forbidding it.

jag ska börja på med längdsimning. punkt.

vill du ligga med mig då?

Om jag lyssnar mer än du pratar,
inte talar om mig själv.
Om jag säger du är vacker,
men att det spelar ingen roll.
För skönhet finns inom oss,
om jag ljuger om sånt där.
Om jag säger det går bra nu,
men inte talar om mitt jobb. 
Om jag ger dig mina tårar,
men är stark när du är svag.
Spelar sweet home Alabama, 
på en lägereldsgitarr.
Om jag är säker på mig själv,
men aldrig är för självgod.
Om jag är en alfaman i sängen, 
men aldrig bråkar. 
Om jag inte är så svartsjuk,
inte håller dig så hårt.
Om jag inte är så matcho,
men försvarar dig ändå.
Om jag ljuger om min barndom,
säger att den varit svår.
Väcker modern i ditt hjärta, 
leker mamma pappa. 
Om jag alltid håller med dig,
fast jag tycker du har fel.
Om jag låtsas att jag bryr mig,
när du köper nya skor.
Om jag skrattar på rätt ställe, 
fast du inte är så kul.
Om du tror att jag är farlig,
kanske tänder du på det.

är det vad som krävs?
nej. 

I've got your back, Jack.

Raj: Here’s what I wonder about zombies. What happens if they can’t get any human flesh to eat? They can’t starve to death, they’re already dead.
Howard: You take this one. I spent an hour last night on how do vampires shave when they can’t see themselves in the mirror?

Seibert: We have to shake a few hands and kiss a few butts to raise money for our research.

Seibert: Let me put it this way. You’re gonna put on a suit, you’re gonna come to this party, and you’re gonna explain your research to a bunch of old people, or I swear to God, I’ll blind you with a hot spoon, like they did to that little boy in Slumdog Millionaire.
Raj: Oh, you don’t want that.

Howard: My girlfriend doesn’t pick out my clothes. My mother does.

Raj: You see, in India, we don’t make the mistake of letting our poor people have dreams.

Seibert: The board of directors insists he has a beautiful mind. I think he’s just bananas.

Raj: I have to tinkle.

Sheldon: Oh no! Not the dirt people!

Leonard: That was good for you? ‘Cause I was sweating through my T-shirt.

Sheldon: No, no, no, I’m just here for your money. I don’t want to shake anyone’s germy hands. Explain it to them, Siebert.

Sheldon: I must confess I don’t understand you, President Siebert. First you say you want me to appear at your fund-raisers, but now you say you never want me to go anywhere near your fund-raisers. Forgive me, but that sounds like a mixed message. Here we go again. If there’s simply no talking to me, why did you call? I’m sorry, someone’s on the other line. Why don’t you see if you can organize your thoughts, and we’ll try again later.

Sheldon: She wants to talk to you. Who’s crazy now?

Sheldon: My stature intimidates her, so she’s using you to get to me. Crafty old gal.

Leonard: You kind of remind me of her. She enjoys making people uncomfortable, too.

Howard: How was dinner?
Leonard: Swell. I need a drink. Do we have any alcohol?
Sheldon: No. But we have potatoes, I could make you vodka. It’ll take two weeks.

Howard: Wait-wait-wait. Are you telling us that old lady wanted to have sex with you in exchange for giving your department millions of dollars?
Leonard: I think so.
Howard: You lucky duck.
Penny: You’re really a broken toy, aren’t you?

Sheldon: Penny, you’re an expert on trading sexual favours for material gain, walk him through this.

Sheldon: Check out those saddle shoes. Rar!

Leonard: I’m not going to prostitute myself just so we can get some new equipment.
Sheldon: Oh, come on! Why not?

Sheldon: Using your genitalia to actually accomplish something!

Mrs Latham: I took a shot, sue me.

Penny: Good morning, slut.
Leonard: What?
Penny: Oh, please, I recognize the walk of shame when I see it. All you’re missing is a little smeared mascara and a purse with panties wadded up in it.

Sheldon: Are you just getting home?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: That’s a good sign, right?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: I’m so proud of you! You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker!

Leonard: I got the money first.
Sheldon: Smart. Get paid up front. Yeah, I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.
Leonard: Uh, I’m gonna go lie down.
Sheldon: That’s a good idea, get your rest. There are a lot more rich old ladies out there, and Daddy needs a new linear accelerator. And I thought he didn’t learn anything from his relationship with you.

Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before.

Leonard: Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject and managed to make it completely insufferable. Plus, he looks like a giant insect.

Sheldon: I’m not familiar with the acronym KMN.
Leonard: Oh, uh, from the context, we think it means kill me now.

Sheldon: I think I’ll turn in. I didn’t want to teach those poopy heads, anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that’s what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle!

Sheldon: If certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I suck the big one.

Howard: What ya thinking so hard about?
Raj: Just that I’m definitely not gay.

Sheldon: Action.
Penny: Okay, it’s not a movie. It’s improv. So no one calls action.
Sheldon: Hey, you taught me something. Who would have thought it?

Sheldon: Goodness, I’ll never understand that boy. But then again, I’m a religious nut, and my mind is closed to so many things.

Sheldon: Glory be to Heaven

Sheldon: Mommy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future.

NÅJA!

då va vi världsmästare. feels GOOD!

p.s. såg matchen i mitt lilla, men mycket fina, vita samsung tv.
+ inte ut och fira som alla andra galna finländare, utan i säng halv tre... I know, I'm getting old.

hockey

planen är att se ishockey ikväll, big screen, när svenskarna kickar våra finska asses.

Road Trip God

Penny: So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon’s hamburger.

Penny: I’m actually pretty busy this weekend.
Sheldon: Probably serving food that was ordered today.

Amy: Don’t you read my blog?
Penny: Oh, don’t feel bad. I never read Leonard’s, and I used to sleep with him.

Penny: just to be clear, when you guys say spa, does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?
Leonard: Pretty much. Except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.

Sheldon: We are only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Sheldon: Radio contact is sufficient. No need to extend your middle finger.

Amy: Are you in the lanthanoid series?
Sheldon: Amy, it's Penny's turn! Penny...
Penny: Uh, I dunno. Are you food?
Sheldon: That's not a apropos! We've already established I'm found on the Periodic Table.
Penny: Well, it's a table, right? I mean, why can't there be food on it?
Sheldon: I knew she wasn't lead car material!

Howard: It’s the Love Car.

Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he’s your gay cousin.

Bernadette: You can’t think that way.
Howard: Yep. Loser.

Bernadette: Are you saying you don’t think I’m hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: No! No, I’m saying exactly the opposite.
Bernadette: I’m too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: Yeah, let’s go with that.

Penny: What happened?
Bernadette: Howard’s a complete and total ass.
Penny: Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.

Leonard: Yeah, that would be a little more like getting into dracula's coffin.

Leonard: We’ll just call the middle here the Neutral Zone.
Penny: The what?
Leonard: Star Trek. You know, the Neutral Zone between the Federation and the Romulan Empire.
Penny: Oh, okay. Just like old times.

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: OK, come in.

Leonard: I'd like to kick your little brown ass.

Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?

A disappointing drink for a disappointing day.

Howard: Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me. I know it says click with the mouse, but on a laptop, the trackpad is the mouse. Now, put your finger on it. Doesn’t matter which finger. Good choice. Now move it down to your e-mail icon. Yeah, the little envelope. What do you mean, what does it look like? It looks like an envelope! Fine, you don’t like the computer, don’t use it! Sure, we can exchange it for a salad spinner. Good-bye
Raj: That’s a Hanukkah present you’re regretting, huh?

Howard: A few extra bucks would be nice. I could finally move out of my mother’s house.
Raj: Where would you go?
Howard: I always dreamed about building a little place of my own over the garage.

Raj: You know, if I made more money, I could take time off from work and give pretty girls submarine rides.
Howard: What’s that? Some weird sex thing?
Raj: No. You take pretty girls underwater in your private submarine, and you show them fish. Why does everything have to be dirty with you?

Sheldon: You have so few good ideas, Leonard. And you’re just going to spill the beans in front of an outsider?
Penny: Who, me?
Howard: Sheldon, I don’t think Penny cares about handwriting-recognition based differential…
Sheldon: The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas.

Sheldon: Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario. A young woman alone in the big city. Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.
Penny: Hey, wait a minute.Howard: Well, hang on. Let’s see where he’s going.
Sheldon: Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard.
Howard: Hey, I…
Penny: Hang on. Let’s see where he’s going.
Sheldon: She befriends them, and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.
Leonard: That is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? Well let’s see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.
Penny: Oh, great. You know what? I’ve already mooched dinner off you guys. I don’t need to listen to this.
Howard: There’s your answer, free food.

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass!

Sheldon: How about this for the app name? The Surprisingly Helpful Equation-Linked Differential Optimized Numerator.
Raj: So it spells Sheldon?
Sheldon: Does it? A happy accident.

Howard: Eureka!
Raj: Hey, we agreed when it was Eureka time, we were all gonna say it together.
Howard: Fine. Let’s say it together.
Raj: No. The moment has passed.

Penny: What you doing? Trying to contact your home planet?

Penny: What if I got him to apologize and promise to behave?
Leonard: Then I guess we would let him back on the app team, and while we’re doing that, you could take an aerial tour of L.A. on your flying pig.

Penny: Say you’re sorry.
Sheldon: Oh, no. Mrs. Mary Cooper didn’t raise her no liars.

Superman probably isn’t getting laid tonight.

Sheldon: Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.

Zack: I want to talk science with the science dudes.
Howard: Oh, and the science dudes want to talk science with you. What do you want to talk about, rocks, dinosaurs, our friend the beaver?
Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out that if you kill a starfish, it’ll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Zack: No, I’m almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel. It was a great show. They also said dolphins might be smarter than people.
Leonard: They might be smarter than some people.

Leonard: You think Penny’s right? Were we bullying Zack?
Howard: No, I know bullying. He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
Raj: And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
Leonard: That happened to you?
Raj: First day of cricket camp. They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.

Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: Zack, I’m sorry you’re stupid. Have a Milk Dud.

Zack: I haven’t been to a comic book store in literally a million years.
Sheldon: Literally? Literally a million years?

Stuart: Yeah, I work 70 hours a week and average a dollar sixty five an hour.
Zack: Sweet.
Stuart: Is that sarcasm?
Howard: Uh, no, it’s an indictment of the American education system.

Sheldon: Let’s ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard’s mother in high-heeled boots?

Raj: I don’t want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.

Leonard: Just chill out, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I’m not Sheldon. I’m the Flash. And now I’m going to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration... I’m back.

Raj: No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we’ve got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a nearsighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.

Raj: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He’s the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Howard: Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.

Some very excellent superhero quips.

Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells BOOBIES!

Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you know the iconic heart shape isn't based on an actual human heart, its based on what a womans ass looks like bending over.
Penny: So in 8th grade, I was dotting my i's with little asses? That's cool.

Penny: He just didn’t really challenge me on an intellectual level.
Bernadette: Couldn’t you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn’t help. Zack can’t even spell NPR.
Bernadette: It’s what I do with Howard. I’m much smarter than he is. But it’s important to protect his manhood.

Raj: you get bit by a radioactive animal in a lab, you kind of want to turn into a superhero.
Howard: Yeah, but who’d want to become Rat-Man?
Raj: Who wouldn’t? You could zip through a maze in nothing flat, squeeze through really small holes, and shut down restaurants in a single bound. And the best part is, if I were Rat-Man, you could be my sidekick, Mouse Boy.

Leonard: 12 years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.

Shelodn: Well, you’re the expert. If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.

Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up.

Sheldon: All right, I think I have enough to go on. Possible explanations for your symptoms are, in descending order of likelihood, hyperthyroidism, premature menopause, hosting an alien parasite or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases, sexual arousal.
Amy: Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?

Howard: Let me ask you a question. What are you most afraid of?
Raj: I don’t know. Um, nuclear war. Accidentally being buried alive. Any of those movies where you get that phone call that says you’re going to die, and then you do.

Sheldon: You know, in difficult times like this, I often turn to a force stronger than myself.
Amy: Religion?
Sheldon: Star Trek.

Sheldon: Forget science: she's horny.

Sheldon: Go, Amy Farrah Fowler. Follow your endocrine system.
Amy: Thank you, Sheldon. You are a good friend.

I’m a keeper.

Raj: You know who’s got to be the bravest person in the Marvel Universe? Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax.
Howard: You want to talk brave, how about Captain America’s undocumented Mexican gardener?
Leonard: He’s not braver than whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing?
Sheldon: As usual, you’re all wrong. The bravest person in the Marvel Universe is the doctor who gives Wolverine his prostate exam.
Howard: How about the guy who gets a prostate exam from Wolverine?
Sheldon: Now you just being silly.

Leonard: I’ll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food.

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled dolphins.

Sheldon: Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that definition, Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Penny: Come on, honey, not in front of my dad.
Penny's dad: Relax, I've seen her do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

Sheldon: Oh, frickity frack! Not this again!

Howard: Look, you’re my best friend, she’s my girlfriend, you should bond. You know, like you and my mom did.
Raj: Your mom creeps the hell out of me.
Howard: Yes, but she’s stopped calling you slumdog millionaire.
Raj: I do appreciate that.

Howard: Okay, I think that’s enough about me.
Raj: He’s right. Let’s make fun of his mother.

Leonard: Hey, lovebug.
Penny: Shut up. You know what I’ve been doing for the last hour?
Leonard: Mm, dreamily doodling Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter in a notebook?
Penny: Listening to my father go on and on about what a great guy you are.
Leonard: You got to admit, I am, I’m delightful.

Sheldon: I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together, and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will.

Sheldon: I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
Penny: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Sheldon: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

Penny's Dad: I want grandkids before I die and I want 'em to grow up in a house without wheels!

Leonard: How'd it go last night?
Raj: Y'know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. Big whoop!

Sheldon: I’m going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
Raj: Nothing happened. Can we please just change the subject?
Sheldon: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

Leonard: Did you get to play with Rajesh's big Telescope last night?
Howard: Where did that come from?
Rajesh: He never touched my telescope!

I have informed you thusly.

Penny: I can't believe you've never read "Eat, Pray, Love".
Leonard: When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Runaway from a giant boulder", I'll read it.

Leonard: Would someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?
Sheldon: There’s no switch. Just listen and learn.

Howard: You know, if we miss it, we’ll have the fun of listening to Sheldon whine about it for the rest of our lives.
Sheldon: See? Howard’s on my side.
Howard: Actually, I’m not. I’m using sarcasm to mock you.
Sheldon: Drat. Now I’m 8 for 27.

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

Penny: All right, time to open bachelor number two.

Raj: Guys, I just did a quick calculation. Judging by the size of the theater and this line we may not get in.
Sheldon: What did he say?
Leonard: Nice going, Raj. I just got him down for his nap.

Sheldon: No butts, no cuts, no coconuts.

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. Alright. I'm a tote. Olba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

Sheldon: Explain to me why Wil Wheaton and his lackeys get in and we don’t.
Theatre staff: ‘Cause I’m the petty functionary with the clipboard, bitch.

Howard: We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke!

Sheldon: Trouble is my middle name Leonard. Actually it's Lee but I prefer Trouble.

I'll offer you a one-time-only high five.

Leonard: My problem is, I don’t project confidence. So I decided that the next time I meet a woman I think is attractive, rather than holding back and being cautious, I’m going to assume the mantle of self-assurance.
Raj: Oh, yeah? What’s that look like?
Leonard: I'm going to pick you up at 8. I'm going to show you a night that you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Raj: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I’m brown and I talk funny.
Howard: They’re just doing a background check on me.
Raj: It doesn't matter. They'll find a way to give me a one-way ticket back to Ghandiville. And by the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.

Raj: Oh, Bella, don’t you see? Edward’s only pushing you away because he loves you.

Page: Here’s my I.D.
Sheldon: And here is my Justice League membership card, but that doesn't prove I know Batman.

Page: Would you characterize him as responsible?
Sheldon: I’m going to answer that with a visual aid. This is my nine-disc complete Lord of the Rings trilogy blu-ray set. Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it, damaged plastic retention hub number three, and then returned it to me, hoping I wouldn’t notice. Would you characterize that as responsible?
Page: That’s really not the sort of thing we’re interested in.
Sheldon: You heard me say blu-ray, right?

Raj: I may have gotten a little tipsy when I talked to her.
Leonard: And I may have hit on her a little bit.
Raj: I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes.
Howard: I see. Well, it’s good to know, when I need you guys, I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.

Sheldon: Howard Joel Wolowitz. H is for honesty, of which he has much. O’s for outstanding, which he is such. W’s for witty, he’s quick with a joke. A’s for artistic, his ability…
Page: I’m sorry, Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed.
Sheldon: But I still have rd Joel Wolowitz left to go.

Penny: What can I get you?
Sheldon: Alcohol.
Penny: Could you be a little more specific?
Sheldon: Ethyl alcohol. 40 millilitres.

Sheldon: Penny, you face failure on a daily basis. How do you cope?
Penny: I drink.
Sheldon: To drinking.

Howard: You’re giving me a couch cushion?
Sheldon: No. The cushion is merely symbolic. I’m giving you my spot on the couch.
Howard: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother, my feelings for my spot are much greater.
Raj: Oh, my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.

Raj: I haven't cried this hard since Toy Story 3!

Penny: How long was it?
Leonard: 94 seconds!

Zip your lip

Raj: Hands off my sister!
Sheldon: Why would I touch your sister? She's all covered in airplane germs.

Raj: Did you pinky swear?

Raj: I don't think we're going to do that.
Sheldon: Do you just hate fun?

Sheldon: Leonard, I’m trapped in quicksand, the axe is dragging me down.
Leonard: Drop axe.
Sheldon: Drop axe. Brilliant.

Leonard: I'm sorry.
Raj's sister: Why do you say that?
Leonard: When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my natural response.

Leonard: You know, I was thinking, there are some great research facilities in India.
Priya: Where are you going with this, Leonard?
Leonard: Well, I’m just saying, I don’t have any real ties here, so if I were to move to New Delhi we could, you know, go out.
Priya: Leonard, didn’t we have this conversation five years ago.
Leonard: Well, yes, but, things have changed, you know, you’re older, I’m older. Look, no more superhero bedsheets.

Priya: I could never bring a white boy home to my parents. They’d have a cow. Which is a much bigger deal in India.

Sheldon: And to think, I was about to waste the last of my good haemorrhoid cream on you!

Leonard: I'm the Darth Vadar of Pasadena!
Sheldon: You're far too short to be Darth Vadar!

Sheldon: You know I can’t keep a secret.
Leonard: You can if you try. Think about it this way, if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you’d keep that secret. Right?
Sheldon: Why do you get to be Batman?
Leonard: Because, well, Batman has the secret.
Sheldon: Well Alfred has secrets too.
Leonard: Like what?
Sheldon: Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. Which I’ve now just told to Batman. See, I can’t keep a secret.

Leonard: To her, I’m a forbidden piece of white chocolate.

Leonard: Was it out of respect that you didn’t tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
Raj: Dude! I put that thing on my face!

Sheldon: I think a more amusing violation of Raj’s trust is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving.
Howard: Hey, I didn’t see you giving back your Snoopy snowcone maker.
Raj: That was all a lie? This year’s gifts are already wrapped!

Howard: And as long as we’re talking about betraying our friends, how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Leonard’s food.
Sheldon: Well, excuse me. That was not a betrayal, that was an experiment to determine at what concentration food starts tasting mothy.
Leonard: You put moths in my food?
Sheldon: For science.

what the hell happened last night?

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klockan 9.00
- tax free, sommar på flaska
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- tappat rösten
- bufé frukost
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klockan 20.00

X-ning

to be continued...

Tedious

Leonard: All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably make an actual Hulk.

Leonard: What do I have to be jealous of?
Sheldon: I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female. You have none.

Leonard: Sheldon, I’m just not dating someone right now. I don’t need to go to a senior centre.
Sheldon: Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.
Leonard: Fine. If I don’t meet someone soon, you can put me in a home.
Sheldon: It’s not a home. It’s a senior centre. We’d never put Meemaw in a home!

Leonard: How could you have a girlfriend? You can’t even speak to women.
Raj: Ok, two words. Deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

Leonard: How do I look?
Sheldon: As if one of the plants from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way, only with an absurd amount of hair gel.

Sheldon: His exact words were "Got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy!"

Sheldon: The key to a good lie lies in the details.

Joy: First thing you need to know about me, I’m hilarious.

Joy: This lobster’s good on the way down and the way up.
Leonard: Should be, it’s thirty dollars a pound.

Sheldon: You haven’t fallen hopelessly in love with me?
Amy: Don’t be absurd.

Sheldon: It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.

He won. Suck it up.

Howard: How am I going to play this? Sophisticated and relaxed? Friendly, noncommittal? Cold and distant?
Bernadette: Hi, guys.
Leonard: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello. I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It’s one of his best moves.

Penny: Howard, if you want my help, I’ve got to know what happened.
Howard: But it’s embarrassing.
Penny: Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on. Spill.

Howard: Did you know that the characters in the game can have sex with each other?
Penny: Oh, God. I think I see where this is going.
Howard: Her name was Glissinda the Troll. Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber-nasty under the Bridge of Souls.
Penny: Oh, you’re right. That is so embarrassing.

Howard: For all we know Lucinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman. She could have been a fifty year old truck driver from New Jersey.
Penny: Really? And that didn’t make her feel better?

Leonard: So anyway, Howard asked Penny to talk to Bernadette, and she did, and Bernadette agreed to meet him for a cup of coffee.
Sheldon: One question.
Leonard: Yeah?
Sheldon: Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard: I don’t know. Sometimes your movements are so lifelike, I forget you’re not a real boy.

Sheldon: This isn’t a desk. This is a Brobdingnagian monstrosity.
Raj: Is that the American idiom for giant, big-ass desk?

Sheldon: How did you even get it in here?
Raj: That’s for me, Ramon, Julio, Jesus and Rodrigo to know and you to find out.

Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.
Raj: Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I’d say it’s spot-on.

Bernadette: Howard, you did have a real woman. I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll’s brains out.

Bernadette: Howard, a girl doesn’t go out with a man like you, with your looks, your fancy patter and your tight hoochie pants if she’s not expecting him to eventually make the move.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: Really.
Howard: Son of a bitch.

Howard: Yeah, we had a really great talk, and we’re gonna start seeing each other again.
Leonard: Oh, congratulations. Have you broken it to the troll yet?

Howard: You’re, like, a quarter of an inch taller than me.
Leonard: Yeah, and don’t you forget it.

I’m off to buy a pussycat.

Sheldon: It’s fun for ages eight to eighty. Join us.It's fun fron age 8 to 80, wanna join us?

Sheldon: You should’ve been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.
Leonard: You bumped the table and you know it.

Raj: Don’t ruin it for me, man. I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.
Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: and potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.

Penny: How’s your life?
Amy: Like everybody else’s. Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking. Why is she not taking our order?
Sheldon: I should’ve warned you, one has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense before one can be fed here.
Amy: Really? I assumed an establishment called the Cheesecake Factory would function more efficiently.
Sheldon: It’s how they lure you in. I believe it’s called bait and switch.

Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend. She’s a girl and she’s my friend, but there’s no touching or unsanitary exchange of saliva.

Sheldon: You’re intimidated by Amy’s intellect. To that I say, buck up.

Leonard: Suffered in silence?

Penny: God, he’s an ass when he drinks.
Howard: Oh, he’s an ass when he doesn’t. You just don’t hear it.

Raj: Oh, God, never again.
Leonard: I assume by never again, you mean never again will you drink all of Penny’s beer, then run down to the gas station for a couple of 40s, a box of Slim Jims and the latest issue of Bombay Badonkadonks.
Raj: I was homesick.
Howard: The highlight of the evening was when you showed us your Bollywood break dancing skills.
Raj: Dude! That's offensive!
Howard: Yah! We all thought so!

Howard: Women, you can't live with them. You can't successfully refute thier hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.

Howard: You should lend him your copy of Bombay Badonkadonks.

Leonard: He takes it everywhere, to bed, to the bathroom.
Raj: He takes the kitty to the potty?
Howard: I thought we discussed the P-word.
Raj: Don’t try to change me, dude. I am what I am.

Sheldon: Robert Oppenheimer was lonely.
Leonard: So you decided to get the whole Manhattan Project?

Leonard: Okay, fine. Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them. And do you know what happened after she died? They ate her.
Sheldon: You don’t have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I’m already a fan.

Mrs Cooper: Oh, lambchop, we can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it’s creepy.

Mrs Cooper: He thinks he’s such a smarty pants. He’s no different from any man. You tell ‘em not to do something, that’s all they want to do. If I hadn’t told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the wood chipper by hand, we’d still be calling him Edward. Now, don’t you move. I’ll bring over all the food.
Leonard: No, no, no, I can do it.
Mrs Cooper: Well, isn’t that sweet?

I'm a lamb!

Sheldon: What I am doing here is trying to determine when I am going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research.

Sheldon: At best I have 60 years left.
Leonard: That long, huh?
Sheldon: 60 only takes me to here. I need to get to here.
Leonard: What’s there?
Sheldon: The earliest estimate of the singularity, when man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines and achieve immortality.
Leonard: So, you’re upset about missing out on becoming some sort of freakish self-aware robot?
Sheldon: By this much.

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

Howard: You’re changing the Sheldonian calendar?

Sheldon: Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.
Penny: No, it won’t.

Penny: Hey, nice knees!
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's!

Penny: I just run till I’m hungry, then I stop for a bear claw.

Leonard: And for Rajesh Koothrappali, from whose homeland these tasty dishes originate, one large order of chicken McNuggets.

Sheldon: Greetings, friends.
Leonard: Greetings, whatever the hell you are.

Penny: So, either one of you weirdos want to buy my underwear? Only fourteen hundred bucks.

Sheldon: Do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?

Leonard: Refresh my memory. Why didn’t I just put you in the trunk?
Sheldon: Because I called shotgun. Remember?
Leonard: Right.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?

Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon: Today, it’s a Chinese food retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and tries to kill Sarah Connor.
Leonard: I don’t think that’s going to happen, Sheldon.
Sheldon: No one ever does. That’s why it happens.

Howard: Raj and I entered Sheldon’s information on a dating site, and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.
Penny: Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy.
Howard: Or, as we call them, Shamy.
Penny: Shamy. I am so digging the Shamy

Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.

Sheldon: I decided to take your advice and have arranged to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler.
Penny: Oh, that's great! Have fun.
Sheldon: Wait! You have to drive me.
Penny: What?!
Sheldon: You know I don't drive.
Penny: Well, go ask Leonard!
Sheldon: I did; he said, and I quote: "Ask Penny, it was her cockamamie idea."
Penny: Leonard said "cockamamie"?
Sheldon: Actually, I'm paraphrasing. Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used. And to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamie".

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community-college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.

Sheldon: I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I 'should' know, I do know.

Penny: Uncomfortable silence it is.

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand..
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Leonard: I'd suggest using some lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on that as well.
Howard: Not funny, Leonard!
Raj: Oh, come on, dude. A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk. It's funny, ask anyone.

Raj: When Winnie the Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all graped onto him and pull and pull.
Leonard: You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.

Leonard: Do you have any ideas, Raj?
Raj: Right now all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Nurse: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Nurse: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Nurse: Because that's all you needed, right?

Sheldon: Using in vitro fertilization and a surrogate uterus to gift humanity with our progeny.
Penny: You’re still on that?
Sheldon: In these uncertain times, doesn’t humanity deserve a gift?

Sheldon: You could still go out and look for number 32.

Greetings, fellow life-form…

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

Howard: Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women,so we don't have to peep through windows.

Raj: The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

Leonard: Relax, it's just a dirty sock.
Sheldon: How on earth can you say "dirty sock" and "relax" in the same sentence?

Howard: Leonard was living in a little town called “Please don’t leave me”, while Penny had just moved to the island of “Bye-bye”!

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie de Strahlung, his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished.

Zack: How can you be sure it won’t blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.
Sheldon: See, now this is a man for Penny.

Leonard: Think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
Zack: What species is that?Leonard: ...
Sheldon: I was wrong. Penny can do better.

Raj: I’m telling you, dude, the only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
Howard: Horse.
Raj: What?
Howard: The phrase is get back on the horse, not whores.
Raj: That’s disgusting, dude.

Sheldon: I can’t bring the nitrogen tank down.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: All right, let me restate that. It’s very heavy, and I don’t want to.

Raj: We make it an experiment. Like when Frankenstein’s monster was lonely and he found a wife.
Howard: He didn’t find a wife. They built him a wife out of dead body parts.
Raj: Okay, we’ll call that plan B.

Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard! In the olden days, I never would have known he was that stupid!

Sheldon: What's going on?
Penny: Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Sheldon: Oh, not this again!

Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say I've never heard the phrase 'yeeehaw' used in quite that context.

Sheldon: Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.

Leonard: Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?

Raj: We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.
Howard: Excuse me?
Raj: The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.
Howard: You’re kidding. An actual woman?
Raj: Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.

Raj: Uh-oh. She wants to meet us.
Howard: Not us. Him.
Raj: Yes, but him doesn’t even know about her.
Howard: Well, him about to find out about her.
Raj: Really? Us gonna tell him?

Sheldon: Your surprise confuses me. I live here.

Howard: Good God, what have we done?

Hilarious.

Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet.

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Leonard: Excuse me, I’m looking for Sheldon Cooper’s apartment.
Man: Oh, I bet you’re here to check out the room for rent.
Leonard: Yeah.
Man: Run away, dude.
Leonard: What?
Man: Run fast, run far.

Large Black Transvestite: Yeah?
Leonard: Dr. Cooper?
Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.
Leonard: In retrospect, that was clue number two.

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.

Leonard: There was no place for company.
Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?

Leonard: Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security!

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu. You're my favorite Linux-based operating system.

Leonard: You're not even watching it!
Sheldon: I can hear it!
Leonard: The dialogue offends you?!

you and Dr. Slutbunny?

Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.

Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.

Penny: Female jibber jabber?
Sheldon: Shoe sales, hair styles, mud masks, gossip about your friends Brad and Angelina.
Penny: Oh, they’re not my friends.
Sheldon: I’m not surprised, considering the way you talk about them behind their backs.

Leonard: Hi-lo.

Sheldon: Get it together, man.

Sheldon: Pee for Houston, pee for Austin. Pee for the state my heart got lost in. And shake twice for Texas.

Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Penny: You might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant.

Sheldon: Elizabeth’s my friend, and you’re playing with her!

Leonard: No, that’s okay. It was something else keeping me up last night. And again this morning. And, I didn’t mind. I was up last night. I was up this morning. I didn’t mind. Those are your clues.
Raj: Ooh, ooh. Did the pigeon on your windowsill have more babies?

Leonard: Okay, I’ll give you one more clue. It involved another person.
Raj: Did you get a Japanese love pillow?
Howard: How is a Japanese love pillow another person?
Raj: It is if you love her and give her a name.

Leonard: Hey, who’s ready for Halo?
Raj: Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!

Raj: Okay, show of hands: who's up for this?
Leonard: We'll all be naked - in front of each other.
Howard: I'm out.

Lyckorus!

De mycket efterlängtade Fennia pengarna har landat i mitt konto idag.

+ imorgon kommer studiestödet.

Go Team Leonard!

Penny: Oh, damn, they canceled my Visa. Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!

Penny: So, how've you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.

Leonard: No, it's fine. I don't care. I'm over it.
Raj: Yeah, he's over it; that's why he's been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.
Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
Howard: So would Ben Affleck.

Howard: I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class. 18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.

Howard: You said you were going for a walk.
Sheldon: I didn't say outside.

Howard: I definitely smell raw hot dog.
Sheldon: Perhaps you’re getting a brain tumour.

Leonard: I'm not going out tonight, Raj.
Raj: All right.Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography?
Leonard: Very much.
Raj: Doesn't have to be Asian.

Raj: Hey, Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah?
Raj: I haven't had sex in a year.
Leonard: Where are you going with this, Raj?
Raj: Don't flatter yourself, dude.

Raj: Well, I need a wingman. I don’t want to come off like a lonely loser.
Leonard: And you think my presence will help with that?

Sheldon: Oh, Lord, I’m in Jewish hell.

Raj: Do you think this is really Hillary Clinton doing it with Oprah?
Leonard: Oh, we really need to get you a girl.

Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: You may wanna sit down.
Leonard: I'm in bed!
Sheldon: Point taken. You may wanna sit up.

Leonard: Is it possible that he said bros before hoes?
Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased to avoid offending the hoes.

Sheldon: We stayed for the California Adventure water show. It was pure Disney magic.

Penny: He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.
Leonard: Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.

I feel empowered.

Leonard: I’m lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.

Howard: What’s with him?
Sheldon: Perhaps he’s at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle.
Howard: Are you saying he’s man-struating?
Sheldon: Not literally.

Raj:I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.

Howard: How about this for a topic, why is Leonard being a giant douche? Assuming giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are. Leonard’s being one.

Raj: Did you think it would be funny to put on a pair of her panties and jump around, but it wound up just creeping her out?
Leonard: What? No.
Raj: I’m just asking, dude. It happens.

Howard: While making love, did you accidentally spank your own ass and cry out Mommy?
Leonard: I’m walking away from you now.
Howard: That wasn’t a no.
Raj: Yeah, I think we’re getting close.

Howard: Did you take a Benadryl and fall asleep while pleasuring her? Because you can die that way.
Raj: Oh, that would be a good way to go.

Sheldon: Remember, seven o’clock.
Penny: Got it.
Sheldon: Pacific Daylight time!
Penny: Bite me!
Sheldon: Please reserve that butch spirit for the lanes.

Sheldon: Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!

Sheldon: I am the proud owner of WilWheatonStinks.com, .net and .org!

Sheldon: Tweet that tweetie bird.

Raj: Ah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy in the life of the party... Oh yeah!

Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you a lasagna.

Penny: So, you didn’t get all snarky ’cause I said something nice to a bowl of chilli fries?
Leonard: All right, maybe I overreacted. So we’re in two different places emotionally. So what? And maybe I’m a little ahead of you. That’s fine. You know. In fact, it makes sense, ’cause let’s face it, I’ve been in this relationship two years longer than you.

Stuart: I, um, I want you to know that even though we’re on opposite sides, I, I bear you no ill will.
Penny: Thank you, Stuart. It’s nice to know.
Stuart: Mmm, mmm. People from opposite sides often have good relationships. You know, Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria from West Side Story, what’s-his-name and the big blue chick in Avatar. I’m gonna bowl now.

Sheldon: Be the ball, Howard.
Howard: Leave me alone, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You weren’t the ball.
Penny: Hey, thanks.

Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side!

Sheldon: THANK YOU JESUS!!! ... as my mother would say.

EDIT

en muminmamma rikare.

DU confuse me

många euron fattigare och många blåmärken rikare.
längtar till onsdan.

från en sak till en annan:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
så fint.