Tedious

Leonard: All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably make an actual Hulk.

Leonard: What do I have to be jealous of?
Sheldon: I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female. You have none.

Leonard: Sheldon, I’m just not dating someone right now. I don’t need to go to a senior centre.
Sheldon: Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.
Leonard: Fine. If I don’t meet someone soon, you can put me in a home.
Sheldon: It’s not a home. It’s a senior centre. We’d never put Meemaw in a home!

Leonard: How could you have a girlfriend? You can’t even speak to women.
Raj: Ok, two words. Deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

Leonard: How do I look?
Sheldon: As if one of the plants from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way, only with an absurd amount of hair gel.

Sheldon: His exact words were "Got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy!"

Sheldon: The key to a good lie lies in the details.

Joy: First thing you need to know about me, I’m hilarious.

Joy: This lobster’s good on the way down and the way up.
Leonard: Should be, it’s thirty dollars a pound.

Sheldon: You haven’t fallen hopelessly in love with me?
Amy: Don’t be absurd.

Sheldon: It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.