I have informed you thusly.

Penny: I can't believe you've never read "Eat, Pray, Love".
Leonard: When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Runaway from a giant boulder", I'll read it.

Leonard: Would someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?
Sheldon: There’s no switch. Just listen and learn.

Howard: You know, if we miss it, we’ll have the fun of listening to Sheldon whine about it for the rest of our lives.
Sheldon: See? Howard’s on my side.
Howard: Actually, I’m not. I’m using sarcasm to mock you.
Sheldon: Drat. Now I’m 8 for 27.

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

Penny: All right, time to open bachelor number two.

Raj: Guys, I just did a quick calculation. Judging by the size of the theater and this line we may not get in.
Sheldon: What did he say?
Leonard: Nice going, Raj. I just got him down for his nap.

Sheldon: No butts, no cuts, no coconuts.

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. Alright. I'm a tote. Olba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

Sheldon: Explain to me why Wil Wheaton and his lackeys get in and we don’t.
Theatre staff: ‘Cause I’m the petty functionary with the clipboard, bitch.

Howard: We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke!

Sheldon: Trouble is my middle name Leonard. Actually it's Lee but I prefer Trouble.