junk jiggling

Sheldon: I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store. Howard: When you say making it work, does that include doing the cyber nasty? Leonard: What? Howard: You know, the virtual pickle tickle. The digital bow-chicka-bow-bow. Howard: you’re gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books. Sheldon: And now they’re cavorting at the base of my hair follicles like dancing hippies at the Redwood National Forest. Leonard: Sheldon, you do this all the time. You fixate on some crazy idea and then blow it way out of proportion. Sheldon: Name one time I’ve ever done that. Leonard: How about when you put GPS trackers in your garbage because you were convinced North Korean spies were stealing your doodles? The chicken nuggets you were sure were human nuggets. The strangely-shaped cloud that was following you around town. The time you put on my shirt by mistake and were convinced you’d started growing again. Sheldon: I said, name one. You really need to work on your listening skills. Penny: Why don’t you just admit you overreacted? Sheldon: No, thank you. Leonard: It’s like living with a Chihuahua. Penny: What’s up, buttercup? What’s the word, hummingbird? What’s the gist, physicist? Leonard: TTa-da! Man nipples. Sheldon: If your video’s frozen, try resetting the TCP/IP stack. Leonard: Oh! I didn’t even think of that. Thanks. Sheldon: You’re welcome. Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I’m trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here. Amy: Best friends, besties, BFFs, peas in a pod, sisters who would share travelling pants. Amy: Kiss me where I’ve never been kissed before. Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City? Amy: Everything except bra and panties. And they’re a leopard-spotted secret I share with Victoria.

Let’s put on our thinking cap, shall we?

Sheldon: It’s not what it looks like. Leonard: They slept together, Sherlock. Leonard: Please. Sheldon would have been before you, and he might not even have genitals. Howard: You’re not in love with Penny. Raj: Yes, I am. The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love. Howard: Who? Raj: He’s the Hindu version of Cupid, but way better, because he rides a giant parrot. Leonard: Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you. Sheldon: For the record, I do have genitals. They’re functional and aesthetically pleasing. Penny: You heard what I did? Amy: Well, I heard who you did. Penny: Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore. Amy: I’m sure your reputation can survive you shagging a little Indian boy. Bernadette: You jerk face! Raj: Do you think I have a shot with Penny? Bernadette: Of course you do. You’re a cutie pie. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Amy: We’ll make popcorn, stay up all night and I’ll teach you my secret language, Op. Leonard: Excuse me. You’re a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development, and all you’ve got is buck up? Leonrad's mother: Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants. Amy: For the first time ever, I have a thriving social life. And no pressure, but it kind of lives and dies with you. Raj: You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. Raj: Can I say it fell apart because you were all, I want to have your babies, and I was like, I’m too rock and roll to be tied down? Penny: No. Sheldon: Geology isn’t a real science! Raj: We’ve decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together be just one of those memories you have and can call to mind when you’re feeling blue or you’re in the shower. Penny: Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?