Hilarious.

Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet.

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Leonard: Excuse me, I’m looking for Sheldon Cooper’s apartment.
Man: Oh, I bet you’re here to check out the room for rent.
Leonard: Yeah.
Man: Run away, dude.
Leonard: What?
Man: Run fast, run far.

Large Black Transvestite: Yeah?
Leonard: Dr. Cooper?
Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.
Leonard: In retrospect, that was clue number two.

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.

Leonard: There was no place for company.
Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?

Leonard: Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security!

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu. You're my favorite Linux-based operating system.

Leonard: You're not even watching it!
Sheldon: I can hear it!
Leonard: The dialogue offends you?!