I'm a lamb!

Sheldon: What I am doing here is trying to determine when I am going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research.

Sheldon: At best I have 60 years left.
Leonard: That long, huh?
Sheldon: 60 only takes me to here. I need to get to here.
Leonard: What’s there?
Sheldon: The earliest estimate of the singularity, when man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines and achieve immortality.
Leonard: So, you’re upset about missing out on becoming some sort of freakish self-aware robot?
Sheldon: By this much.

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

Howard: You’re changing the Sheldonian calendar?

Sheldon: Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.
Penny: No, it won’t.

Penny: Hey, nice knees!
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's!

Penny: I just run till I’m hungry, then I stop for a bear claw.

Leonard: And for Rajesh Koothrappali, from whose homeland these tasty dishes originate, one large order of chicken McNuggets.

Sheldon: Greetings, friends.
Leonard: Greetings, whatever the hell you are.

Penny: So, either one of you weirdos want to buy my underwear? Only fourteen hundred bucks.

Sheldon: Do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?

Leonard: Refresh my memory. Why didn’t I just put you in the trunk?
Sheldon: Because I called shotgun. Remember?
Leonard: Right.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?