Road Trip God

Penny: So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon’s hamburger.

Penny: I’m actually pretty busy this weekend.
Sheldon: Probably serving food that was ordered today.

Amy: Don’t you read my blog?
Penny: Oh, don’t feel bad. I never read Leonard’s, and I used to sleep with him.

Penny: just to be clear, when you guys say spa, does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?
Leonard: Pretty much. Except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.

Sheldon: We are only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Sheldon: Radio contact is sufficient. No need to extend your middle finger.

Amy: Are you in the lanthanoid series?
Sheldon: Amy, it's Penny's turn! Penny...
Penny: Uh, I dunno. Are you food?
Sheldon: That's not a apropos! We've already established I'm found on the Periodic Table.
Penny: Well, it's a table, right? I mean, why can't there be food on it?
Sheldon: I knew she wasn't lead car material!

Howard: It’s the Love Car.

Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he’s your gay cousin.

Bernadette: You can’t think that way.
Howard: Yep. Loser.

Bernadette: Are you saying you don’t think I’m hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: No! No, I’m saying exactly the opposite.
Bernadette: I’m too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: Yeah, let’s go with that.

Penny: What happened?
Bernadette: Howard’s a complete and total ass.
Penny: Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.

Leonard: Yeah, that would be a little more like getting into dracula's coffin.

Leonard: We’ll just call the middle here the Neutral Zone.
Penny: The what?
Leonard: Star Trek. You know, the Neutral Zone between the Federation and the Romulan Empire.
Penny: Oh, okay. Just like old times.

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: OK, come in.

Leonard: I'd like to kick your little brown ass.

Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?