5/05/2011

Greetings, fellow life-form…

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

Howard: Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women,so we don't have to peep through windows.

Raj: The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

Leonard: Relax, it's just a dirty sock.
Sheldon: How on earth can you say "dirty sock" and "relax" in the same sentence?

Howard: Leonard was living in a little town called “Please don’t leave me”, while Penny had just moved to the island of “Bye-bye”!

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie de Strahlung, his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished.

Zack: How can you be sure it won’t blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.
Sheldon: See, now this is a man for Penny.

Leonard: Think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
Zack: What species is that?Leonard: ...
Sheldon: I was wrong. Penny can do better.

Raj: I’m telling you, dude, the only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
Howard: Horse.
Raj: What?
Howard: The phrase is get back on the horse, not whores.
Raj: That’s disgusting, dude.

Sheldon: I can’t bring the nitrogen tank down.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: All right, let me restate that. It’s very heavy, and I don’t want to.

Raj: We make it an experiment. Like when Frankenstein’s monster was lonely and he found a wife.
Howard: He didn’t find a wife. They built him a wife out of dead body parts.
Raj: Okay, we’ll call that plan B.

Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard! In the olden days, I never would have known he was that stupid!

Sheldon: What's going on?
Penny: Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Sheldon: Oh, not this again!

Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say I've never heard the phrase 'yeeehaw' used in quite that context.

Sheldon: Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.

Leonard: Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?

Raj: We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.
Howard: Excuse me?
Raj: The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.
Howard: You’re kidding. An actual woman?
Raj: Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.

Raj: Uh-oh. She wants to meet us.
Howard: Not us. Him.
Raj: Yes, but him doesn’t even know about her.
Howard: Well, him about to find out about her.
Raj: Really? Us gonna tell him?

Sheldon: Your surprise confuses me. I live here.

Howard: Good God, what have we done?

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