Another round for me and my homegirl.

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.

Leonard: In my family, holidays weren’t so much celebrated as studied for their anthropological and psychological implications on human society.
Penny: Oh, sounds festive.

Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.

Beverly: Leonard, how are you?
Leonard: Fine, Mom. How are you?
Beverley: Mmm, menopausal.
Leonard: Now I’m less fine.

Beverly: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Howard: Honest to God. Leonard, tell her I have a girlfriend.
Leonard: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Howard: What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Tell her I have a girlfriend!
Leonard: All right. He “has” a “girlfriend.”

Beverly: With some waitress from the university cafeteria. Can you believe it? A waitress? Oh, no offense, dear.
Penny: No, it sounded like a compliment.

Beverly: Thankfully, my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I haven’t had intercourse with him in eight years.
Penny: Eight years?
Beverley: Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.
Penny: Yikes. What’s so funny?
Beverley: That’s exactly what I say during orgasms. Yikes.

Penny: You know what? I could use a drink. Do you want to stop for a drink?
Beverley: Oh, I don’t drink.
Penny: I do, I’ll teach you.

Sheldon: Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family.
Leonard: You’re my surrogate family?
Sheldon: If it’s any consolation, I’m not happy about it either. Good night.

Beverly: I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.
Penny: As long as you don’t feel it running down your pants, you’re fine.

Beverly: Why didn’t you tell me you were tapping my homegirl? Did I say that right?
Penny: Yeah, not bad, not bad.
Leonard: Are you guys drunk?
Beverley: Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del Taco? Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Beverley: You’re welcome. Is it because she’s uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?
Penny: What the hell happened to lovely and charming?

Beverly: I’m getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart.
Penny: That’s the Del Taco.

Beverly: Don’t make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.
Leonard: Mother, remember when I was complaining that you don’t communicate with me enough?
Beverley: Yes, dear.
Leonard: I’m over it.