Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Howard: Is there a picture of you in my wallet wearing a metal bikini?
Leonard: God, I hope not.

Raj: Do you kind of look like a shiny Sheldon?

Howard: You’ve reached friends with benefits. For a booty call, press one now.
Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

Howard: Of course I had feelings for her, I saw her naked for God’s sake!

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
Raj: Is it me, or was that Sheldon’s way of saying Vegas baby!

Raj: What do you say Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!

Sheldon: And how are you doing this fine evening?
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Good. I’m glad.
Penny: Really? Are you drunk?

Raj: That’s the spirit, Howard. Yes, we can.

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Raj: Oh, we should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky.
Leonard: Okay, uh, if I get lucky I’ll take her to my stately manor outside Gotham City, and if you get lucky, I’ll sleep on the moon.
Raj: Sounds like a plan.

Raj: Party is my middle name.

Raj: You better call the moon and you make sure that they have a bed for you.

Raj: Maybe I can save her.
Leonard: Maybe, but I’m guessing it will cost you about $500 an hour to try.

Raj: She is exactly Howard's type. A hooker.

Sheldon: I’m homesick.
Penny: Your home is twenty feet from here.
Sheldon: Twenty feet, twenty light years, it doesn’t matter. It’s in a galaxy far, far away.