Schrodinger’s Cat

Sheldon: Mai du lui tsa.
Howard: You just called Leonard a syphilitic donkey.
Sheldon: My apologies Leonard, I'm only as good as my teacher.

Leonard: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Howard: What, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her, right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend. Not her gay friend.

Raj: Incredible. You managed to screw up the screw up

Penny: Tell me the truth. am I just an idiot who picks giant losers?
Leonard: No. No.
Penny: Okay, so I pick good guys, but turn them into losers.
Leonard: Of course not.
Penny: Well, it's got to be one or the other, which is it?
Leonard: I'm sorry, what were the choices again?

Penny: Yes, I'll go out with you.
Leonard: Ready?
Penny: Yeah. Why not, I mean what do I've to lose.
Leonard: Yeah. That's the spirit.

Penny: I guess you're aware that Leonard asked me out.
Sheldon: Well, he didn't actually say anything but when he came back to the apartment he was doing a dance that brought to mind the happy hippos in Fantasia.

Penny: So, I've known for a while that Leonard has had a little crush on me...
Sheldon: A little crusch? Well I suppose so, in the same way Menelaus had a little crush on Helen of Troy.

Penny: Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.
Sheldon: Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.

Penny: I'm sorry, I don't get the point.
Sheldon: Well of course you don't get it, I haven't made it yet.

Leonard: Wow, that's brilliant!
Sheldon: You sound surpriced.