Rocket scientist

Howard: Shhh! Hot girl in Sheldon's office.
Leonard: Sheldon's office? Is she lost?

Sheldon: They were not friends, they were imaginary colleagues.

Penny: Wow, you don't look that much alike.
Howard: Can I get a hallelujah.
Sheldon: Fraternal twins come from two seperate eggs, they are no more alike than any other siblings.
Howard: Halllujah!

Raj: Hey, guess what I've been accepted as a test subject for a new miracle drug to overcome pathological shyness.

Raj: Have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra?
Missy: The sex book?
Raj: The Indian sex book. In other words if you wonder who wrote the book of love, it was us.

Leonard: If you like women who are tall... and perfect.

Sheldon: I'm not ignoring my sister. I'm ignoring all of you.

Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Leonard: In what universe do I have Penny?
Howard: So I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell no!

Sheldon: We shared a uterus for nine months, but since than we've pretty much gone our own separate ways.

Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.

Howard: Oh, you poor, deluded bastard.

Sheldon: A weep for humanity.